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News Bulletin

Shipment Award

Expresscon 2015

Andrew Express Introduces Overnight Shipping

2015 August Holiday Schedule

Award Winning Service

On June 31st, Andrew Express was amazed to be voted #1 for Customer Satisfaction in the Andrew-Express sponsored event, "What is the Best Delivery Company on the Earth."

Learn

Our company follows three principles:

  1. Money is the most important part of the company.

  2. We do not give refunds
  3. We are not real.










HARDCORE QUALITY SINCE 2015

Here at Andrew Express, we make sure that the customers receive the highest quality service. The customer is treated like a member of the family, mainly because the only people willing to buy our services ARE our family.

Do you want clean, "efficient" deliveries? Tired of those annoying delivery companies that take a mere 6-8 weeks to deliver a package? Want to be greeted with happy delivery men who work below minimum wage? Do you believe that the sky is blue? If you said yes to any of these questions, Andrew Express is perfect for you! All workers are vigorously trained to fit the high-stress and work that this job requires! 

Track Your Package

Andrew Express uses the ultimate 1970's technology to be capable of locating your package at all times. And if it's lost,  you owe us money.

Delivery WITH LOVE

When we first started our delivery service, we had one employee. Now we have grown and have one employee who in a way has become our extended family. We're all about helping people because that's what you pay us to do.

Need to complain? Talk to a potted plant. It may have enlightening wisdom for all, while you provide its nourishment, love, and Carbon Dioxide, which it breaks down into simple sugars and ATP.